A couple who only comes to therapy in crisis. Her question to me: why is he only nice to me when my bags are packed and at the door?
Transcript
Couples therapy video 2,687. I treated a couple on and off for years. They'd only show up in crisis. And I promise you, today they're not in crisis, because I haven't heard from them. But they'll show up again. They only want to put fires out. They don't want to deal with the foundation, with the beginning of the problem.
At one point this woman said to me, and I quote, why is he only nice to me when my bags are packed and at the door? I said, that's a great sentence. Did you make that up? She said, no, why? I said, I've never heard it put that way.
Why is he only nice to me when my bags are packed and at the door?
The answer is: lady, because you have trained him to not treat you right. And then you in turn train him that if you don't get your act together, husband, I'm out of here. Then he steps up his game. And there's a dance, and it's a horrible dance.
So, if your husband or your wife only treats you right when you threaten to leave, I'd say you need a third party to help you fix that.
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