Don't Be a Guest in Your Own Life

I'm a big fan of Bob Earl. He's passed away, but he was a very big AA speaker in the 80s. He got famous because he talked about childhood trauma and being wounded when he was young and how people in AA need to deal with those wounds.

Bob had a career in Hollywood. He tells a story where a friend of his — a normal friend, a healthy friend — came to visit him on set. Bob said, when you visit, look what I do. Look where I look. Don't talk to anybody. Don't make any sounds. Just try and be invisible.

This friend, again, is healthy. He's sitting there watching. They film a car chase. Director says, action. Boom, boom, boom. Explosions. This friend turns to Bob Earl. He goes, that was amazing, how did they do that? Bob's like, I don't know. The guy walks up to the director. Bob's like, no, don't bother the director. This friend who's healthy walks up to the director and says, excuse me, how do you do that? Director says, oh, well, we have this trip wire here. Once the car goes there, boom, this explosion, and this camera is... and he starts explaining everything about how to film a car chase.

Bob Earl said: I learned more in the three-minute discussion between my friend and the director about how to film a car chase than I had in my 20 years as a Hollywood writer.

Then they go to lunch. They take a break. They go to the commissary and this guy sees a table filled with Alan Alda and all the stars from MASH. And he goes, oh, it's my favorite show. And Bob Earl says, do not bother them, no one talks to them. This guy walks up, says, oh, I love you guys. And next thing you know, he's sitting there having lunch with the people from MASH.

Bob Earl's horrified. He stands away. Lunch is over. They go back. Same thing over and over again. Then the conclusion of the story — Bob Earl says, that guy, my friend, had more enjoyment out of my career in six hours on set than I had had for 30 years in Hollywood.

Don't be like that. Enjoy what you got. Ask questions. Be comfortable in your own skin.