Couples, It Is Healthy to Fight

Hello. This is couples therapy video number 1,627. Couples fight. If they don't fight, I don't get it. I don't understand those couples that never fight.

What that tells me — those are two people devoted to never changing. Never changing a thing in their relationship, never changing a thing in themselves. It's good they don't try to change their partner, but I see relationships and life as more entropy, more disorder. You want to grow, you want to change, you want a little bit of turmoil, a little bit of chaos. Two people that never fight literally have an agreement: we're not going to ever push each other on anything.

For the other 99% of couples that have fights, I say bravo. Good for you. Fights are okay. A: fight fair. B: resolve the fight. I don't like couples that have the same fight over and over and over and over and over again. They end up in my office and then they sit in my office and what do they do? They have the same fight over and over and over again. They refuse to change. That's as dysfunctional as it gets.

Couples, please have fights. Couples, please don't have the same fight over and over again.