All right, here's what I don't understand. You watch your kid engaged with his or her phone addictively, and you passively say, "I don't know what to do."
They can't put it down. They melt down when it's not around, so you hand it back. You make it easy for them. You don't want them to suffer.
And it's not just that it becomes a habit. Their social skills begin to suffer. Every hour that they're on a screen is an hour that they're not practicing how to interact with other human beings. Again, they need to learn this from you, the parents.
Give them years upon years of just focusing on their phone, they're going to become socially stunted. If your kid can't manage their phone use, and it looks like they can't, then it falls on someone else's shoulders, and that person is you.
That's the job. That's what we do as parents. We do not remain their favorite person in the world if we take their phone away, but that is what we must do.
So why do we give in to the kid? Is it about them? Is it about us? I think it's about us wanting the ease, wanting the comfort, wanting them to like us, not wanting the disruption.
You say you don't want the fight, you say you want the quiet. Well, the easiest thing in the world to do is just give your kid the phone. The hardest thing in the world to do is to be the bad guy and set limits with your kid.
Their discomfort is temporary. Them becoming socially and emotionally stunted is permanent.
Transcript of Dr. Gore's video above, lightly edited for reading.
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