From a handout of Onsite Workshops (www.onsiteworkshops.com), with additional information from Dr. Gore.
INTIMATE
- Peers.
- Mutuality.
- Choice.
- Freedom.
- Desire to share needs and feelings.
- Relationship always changing.
- I want to be there.
- I try to balance "alone time" with "together time."
- I begin with me (self). I want. I feel. Initiator...
- I take care of me. I am solely responsible for figuring out what I need and communicate it to you.
- Sex is an important part of how two people connect.
- I will let you see all of me.
- Relationship deals with things as they come along.
- My dedication to you is based on my true interest in your spiritual path, even if it takes you away.
- Love is always an act of self-love.
- Relationship deals with reality.
DYSFUNCTIONAL
- Power differential.
- Imbalance.
- Loss of choice.
- Compulsion.
- "No talk" rule, especially if things are not working out.
- Relationship is always the same.
- I have to be there.
- I am with my partner all the time or we hardly see each other (and when we do we are involved in other activities).
- I begin with you. You change. You make me feel. Reactor...
- You will know what is right for me. You will fix it.
- Sex is almost non-existent or occurs without any true connection.
- I will only show you the parts of me I want you to see.
- Relationship uses denial to deal with things.
- Your spiritual growth doesn't count.
- Love is wanting someone to love me at all costs.
- Relationship is based on delusion, often on what "could" be.